Just mouse over any little Festus below to hear what he's done got to tell ya.

I'll get on you like ugly on an ape!
Smart aleck!
Don't you see!
Ah Foot!
I'm always plumb careful when it comes to handlin' a gun. Much obliged fer the advice though.
Well, you just hold yer taters.

I was at the jailhouse lookin’ after a prisoner all night!

I just ain’t in a drinkin’ mood. Much obliged.

Just as right as summer rain.

Give it to you before you can say rat run over the roof of the house with a piece of raw liver in his mouth!

Don’t get pushy you knothead!

They jest ain’t no sense a killin’ somebody over a bunch of silly words.

I’ve saw folks havin’ more fun than this at a wake with a heap less people.
I need educatin’. Start teachin’

You know how it is: a promise is a promise.

Onery lookin bunch, ain’t they?

What in the tarnation’s it look like I’m doing?

Don’t cry. It’s all over, Miss Kitty.

Festus Guide Ken Curtis Main Page